Leonardo da Vinci
In last week’s post Beyond New Year Resolutions- Can You Change? we briefly looked at the
importance of self-control when trying to implement changes to our life, but as
the topic of self-control is quite complex, it is worth to look at it in more
detail.
What is self-control and why do we need it1-4
Throughout
our daily lives we are continuously exposed to different situations, which
trigger desires, wishes, impulses and
emotions in us (in the interest of simplicity just called desires and
emotion from now on). Following these desires and emotions is not always a
problem, as they ensure that we satisfy our needs (e.g. the need to eat and
sleep, the need for safety or connection). However, a lot of the time it is not
in our best long-term interest to act upon all of these desires and emotions.
Examples
include giving in to the temptation of high caloric food when could really do
with losing some weight, following our desire to have a comfy time on the sofa
although we know that we have become rather unfit, or reacting to stressful
situations with either outbursts of anger, collapse or passive aggression
although we know that this does nothing to lower our long-term stress levels.
So
we have to weigh up our short-term
desire (or the urge to act on a strong emotion) against our long-term goals and interests. This also includes balancing
our short-term desires and emotions with other people’s wishes and rights, in
order to remain an accepted member of society. And as previously mentioned, we
need self-control when establishing new habits and ways of thinking.
What
is probably important to say at this point is that self-control is not the same as rigid austerity or compulsive
self-restriction. Self-control is more
about finding a healthy balance between our short-term and long-term interests
and being able to freely choose from a range of available options. This type of
self-control could also be described as effective self-regulation or self-management, and represents our free will.
How self-control improves well-being3
Probably
unsurprisingly, it has been shown that people who are able to exercise effective
self-control tend to be more successful
in education and professional life, have better
social relationships, tend to be healthier
and live longer. But self-control also pays off in the short-term: despite
the common myth that people who are high in self-control are unable to enjoy
life’s pleasures, it has actually been shown they tend to be happier and more content in their
day-to-day life as well. It has been suggested that this is because they have less inner conflicts: they see their
behaviour as being in-line with their best interest and do not have as many inner
fights about whether to give in or to resist temptations.
Meet your brain’s CEO
As
already explained in the last post, self-control is made possible by a special
area of the brain, which is particularly well-developed in humans: the prefrontal cortex.1-3 The
prefrontal cortex has also been called the ‘Chief Executive’ of the brain, and
it plays an important part in many functions including bodily regulation, empathy
and attuned communication with
others, emotion regulation, response flexibility, fear modulation and moral reasoning.1
The
reason why the prefrontal cortex is so essential for self-control is that it creates concepts of the present while
taking our past experiences into account, and makes plans and predictions about the future (including the
long-term consequences of our actions). So it allows us to control our impulses and postpone gratification for the sake of
our long-term interests. As far as emotions are concerned, the prefrontal
cortex allows us to deal with stress and adversity more effectively due to its
fear modulation and emotion regulation.1-5 The prefrontal cortex also allows us to change perspective
and look at situations from different angles.
Why self-control is a limited resource
Although
some people have a naturally higher capability of self-control (namely those
scoring high on the personality trait of conscientiousness), anybody can learn and
improve this skill.1,3,5,6 Just as the CEO of a business company
cannot do an effective job with the support of other people, we can
specifically support our prefrontal cortex in order to strengthen its function.
We
tend to spend a lot of time in our lives on ‘autopilot’ making intuitive decisions based on our implicit memory
(as discussed in Escaping the Prison of the Past, or: How to Make Memories Your Friends), or following our
engrained habits and automated behaviours.2,4,5 The advantage of
this type of behaviour and quick/intuitive thinking is that it is does not require a lot of effort and energy,
whereas the deliberate consideration
and weighing up of pro’s and con’s is
energy and time consuming. Therefore, self-control
is a limited resource, which should be used wisely and with insight.7
As
self-control requires energy, the more temptations we have to resist, the more
likely we are to give in at some point.7 Additionally, it becomes
more difficult to keep up our discipline throughout the day: self-control is
highest in the morning and then decreases as the day goes on. These are points
Leonardo da Vinci seems to have been aware of, too. Also, although the
prefrontal cortex can modulate anxiety and other emotions, overwhelming stress
and strong emotions can shut down the function of the prefrontal cortex.
1,2,5,7
Strategies to strengthen prefrontal cortex function:
- We can simply practice setting longer-term goals and working towards them.3
- Focusing on the rewarding aspects we encounter when behaving in a way that is in-line with our long-term goals can increase our self-control. For example, if you are having trouble motivating yourself to go to the gym, try not to focus on the things you do not like about it (e.g. the effort of getting there and doing your exercises), but instead think about how much progress you have made so far, how much better you feel after exercising and/or look forward to meeting likeminded people. Additionally focus your attention on these rewards during and after the exercise. Over time, this will help to achieve a mental shift so that you will connect exercise (or whatever you are trying to do to fulfill your long-term goal) with more positive associations.4
- Mindfulness practices increase self-control in several ways:
- Practicing mindfulness regularly generally strengthens the function of the prefrontal cortex and thereby increasing our capacity for self-control.1,3,5
- Meditations have a cumulative effect and can greatly help to create a general state of mental calmness.1,5,7 This calm state allows us to take the larger perspective and to become more creative when dealing with day to day problems.2,5,7
- Having an increased awareness for the moment-to-moment experiences allows us to pause in a situation and consider all options- rather than staying on autopilot and continue with automated behaviours and habitual reactions. This gives us response flexibility and a greater degree of freedom.5
- Additionally, mindfulness helps us to savour our experiences in the moment to a greater degree.1,4,5 This means that we may develop a greater sensitivity to the small pleasures. For example, we can gain more pleasure from eating a small portion of food mindfully, savouring every moment and consciously enjoying the smell, colours, taste and different textures, than when shoveling down a large dinner while simultaneously checking new messages on our smartphone.
- Suppressing unwanted thoughts has been shown to make them more likely to arise,7 and similarly it has been shown that suppressing emotions usually backfires.5 Mindfulness teaches us a different way to handle thoughts and emotions: We can learn to acknowledge that we have certain desires or emotions while helping us to accept them, and deal with them in a more constructive way.1,5
- Managing our energy levels wisely: As self-control not only depends on sufficient energy levels but simultaneously reduces them further, avoiding physical and mental exhaustion and learning to manage our energy wisely is a very effective way of making the work for the prefrontal cortex easier:
- Avoiding temptation is of course an easy way of avoiding excessively fast energy depletion, but not always possible. Remember that self-control is better in the morning, so it is particularly important to avoid your exposure to temptations later in the day.
- Reducing stress: Overwhelming stress and emotions can significantly reduce the function of the prefrontal cortex.1,2,5,7 While stressful situations are unavoidable in our life, we can take measures to reduce stress, which will automatically increase our ability to be more effective in self-control.
- Sleep, eat and exercise well: Good sleep, adequate food and exercise are essential to maintain sufficient energy levels. Excessive self-restriction should be avoided as this may back-fire. As self-control itself leads to a decrease in blood sugar levels,7 it is no surprise that dieting is often unsuccessful. When dieting, we take in less energy but simultaneously we have to exercise self-control. Being overly restrictive may therefore lead in a faster exhaustion of our self-control, which is why it is more sensible to implement long-term changes to your nutrition rather than achieving weigh loss through crash diets.
- Other helpful methods to increase our mental energy include:7
- Doing something, which makes you feel positive or something you have a passion for but is not in conflict with your long-term interests. Examples include watching a fun video or getting involved in your favourite hobby, instead of obsessing about your desires or emotions (or trying to suppress these thoughts).
- Consider the larger perspective: Focusing on why you are doing something gives you a sense of connection and connects to your values, which can boost your energy and motivation.
- Practice gratitude: There is evidence that feeling grateful helps increasing energy in face of a task, which requires self-control. For more information about gratitude see also Appreciating Your Life- Gratitude.
- As mentioned above, automated behaviour patterns/habits require less energy than deliberate behaviour. So once we have decided that we want to change our habits (which are more in line with our long-term interests), it is helpful to create these new patterns as quickly as possible. For example, this may include doing something always at the same time, or in the same location. Over time, the behaviour then becomes automatically triggered without the need for motivation or intentions.8
Conclusions
The
most important points that I have taken away from all this, is that it is
really important to take energy levels into account when trying to exercise
self-control, and that we may use different strategies to get better at it. It
may be wise to implement changes slowly, ‘nudging’ yourself towards the
long-term behaviour you want to achieve, rather than making sudden drastic
changes. However, if you find yourself needing to make quick and substantial
changes (e.g. due to a newly diagnosed illness or similar) then it may be
helpful to change the most important issue first before addressing the less
important things, while making sure that your brain’s CEO does not run out of
fuel.
Quote corner
There
are just simply so many great quotes on the subject of change and self-control
that I have found it almost impossible to choose the quotes for the last two
posts. For those of you who also like quotes, I would like to add some
additional ones. What is so interesting about them is that clearly the subject
of change with its associated challenges and opportunities has captured the
minds of great thinkers throughout history. This not only illustrates the
central role of self-control for self-improvement, and the fact that
self-control represents a choice but also the point that it is not always easy.
So here is a small selection of further quotes taking you through the last few
thousand years:
- ‘One key to a good life is learning to want the things that are good for your that, honestly, you don’t particularly want.’- Rick Hanson
- ‘I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.’- Carl Gustav Jung
- ‘Who is strong? He that can conquer his bad habits.’- Benjamin Franklin
- ‘Where it is in our power to act, it is also in our power to not act.’- Aristotle
- ‘What we think, we become.’- Buddha
Preview: Whenever we want to
change or achieve something we also need a degree of hope and optimism. Both of
these attitudes generally contribute to well-being, but there are also
situations where they can be more problematic. More on this in the next post,
before we will return to the complex topic of work and happiness later this
month.
References and further reading:
1. Siegel
D. Mindsight: Transform Your Brain with the New Science of Kindness. Oneworld
Publications; Oxford, UK. 2011.
2. Graham
L. Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being.
New World Library; Novato. 2013.
3. Bauer
J. Selbststeuerung: Die Wiederentdeckung des freien Willens [Self-control: The re-discovery of our free will]. Karl Blessing Verlag; Munich, Germany. 2015.
4. Hanson
R: Hardwiring Happiness: How to reshape your brain and your life. Rider Ebury
Publishing, Random House, UK. 2013.
5. Kabat-Zinn
J: Full Catastrophe Living: How To Cope With Stress, Pain and Illness Using
Mindfulness Meditation. Piatkus. 2013
6. Nettle
D. Personality: What makes you the way you are. Oxford University Press; New
York. 2007.
7.
Seppälä E. The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to
Accelerate Your Success. Piatkus; London, UK. 2016.
8. Ersche
KD, Lim TV, Ward LHE, Robbins TW, Stochl J. Creature of Habit: A self-report
measure of habitual routines and automatic tendencies in everyday life. Personality
and Individual Differences. 2017;116:73-85.
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