‘Courage is what it takes
to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.’
Winston
Churchill
We have
touched on the importance of courage before in the posts about personal heroes, dealing with difficult people and On A Personal Note, but as it has a very central role for our well-being I
thought that it may be helpful to dedicate a special post to courage and how we
may cultivate and increase this quality in our own life.
What is courage and what do we need it for?
Courage is
often misunderstood: We tend to associate it mainly with heroic, daring or
adventurous behaviour when dealing with challenges in the outside world, and
often overlook the importance of courage in the more ordinary everyday situations
and when dealing with ourselves.
The origin of
the English word ‘courage’ comes
from the Latin word ‘cor’, meaning ‘heart’, and courage was originally used in the sense of ‘speaking one’s mind by telling all
one’s heart’.1 This original meaning of courage reminds us that
it can also have more subtle and quieter qualities: Not the type of courage we
need in exceptional moments when doing heroic deeds, but the type of courage that permeates all aspects of our everyday lives and that enables us to
be honest and open with ourselves (and others) about our feelings and
experiences.1,2
The reason
why I like the above quote by Winston Churchill so much is because it shows
that courage may be indeed required for
any sort of behaviour: Sometimes we need it to actively do something but
sometimes we require courage to stay deliberately inactive; we need courage to
trust others, and at other times we need courage to challenge other people and
stand up for our values; we also need courage to change our habits and behaviour,
and we need it to be patient and persist in what we are already doing.
Another
way in which courage is often misunderstood is that it is synonymous with fearlessness.
However, it has been recognized that courage
is in fact somewhat independent from fear; it is about doing (or purposely not doing) something despite your
fears.3-5 As Nelson Mandela put it: ‘I learned that courage was
not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who
does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.’
And
if there is one truth about courage and fears then it is that everybody has both,
courage and fear, and that they are a normal part of our lives. In
fact, fear is an adaptive and helpful negative emotion, a result of many
thousands of years of evolution, which makes us stay cautious in order to avoid
harm and injury.4 And there are many things we may fear: There is
fear of spiders and snakes, fear of flying or heights, fear of failure, fear of
loneliness/rejection/loss of social status, fear of losing control, fear of
change, fear of ageing/illness/death to name just a few. We may also simply be
a habitual worrier, someone who just needs to always have one worry on the go.
Of
course we may not all share the same
fears and we may feel them to a variable degree. The personality trait of
‘neuroticism’ and traumatic life experiences shape us to a large degree, and
can make us more prone to anxieties.4,6 However, as courage is the
triumph over fear, people who feel fear more intensely but overcome this fear
may, in a way, be more courageous than ones who did not feel fearful in the
first place. We may even learn to see situations in which we experience fear as an opportunity for personal growth.7
When fears and anxiety become a problem
As
mentioned above, experiencing fear is a normal human experience. However, fears and anxieties become problematic when
they limit our quality of life, and/or if they limit the way we respond to other people or life’s inevitable
challenges.
One
problem is also that we may not always be
aware of our fears. While some types of fears or anxiety disorders will be
very obvious to us (e.g. arachnophobia- the fear of spiders), others may be
more subtle and concealed. As mentioned on previous occasions, we have two
types of memory: the explicit memory,
which stores the conscious memory of our personal life and other factual
knowledge and the implicit memory,
which (amongst other things) stores our emotional associations with certain
situations, our vulnerabilities and emotional deficits.7,8 As the
implicit memory is negatively biased (which means that it stores negative
experiences more readily than positive ones), our decision-making may be lead
by fear without even being fully aware for the reasons of our decisions,7,8
which may make us behave in a way which is not helpful in the long run.
Another
issue is that strong negative emotions
like fear can reduce our capacity for rational thinking and may lead to a
reactive mindset, in which we are not able to choose our response flexibly but
in which we tend to be defensive or have a ‘knee jerk’ reaction.7,8
How to cultivate courage
Whatever our starting
point, here is some further information and a few tips on how we may all
increase the much needed quality of courage in our lives:
- As courage has to do with challenging our fears it can be helpful to be aware of the two principal pathways in our brain which are associated with fear and anxiety, as the two different types of fear need to managed in slightly different ways:4,7,8
o
The conscious thinking part of our brain (cerebral cortex) can create anxiety through negative or worrying
thoughts. Another part of the brain, the amygdala, is responsible for the more instantaneous stress (or fight-or-flight) response. The amygdala is
also involved with the formation of our implicit memory.
o
The reason why this differentiation is important is because cortex- or thought-based fears can be
overcome more easily by challenging
our negative or exaggerated worrying thoughts and by adopting a more
optimistic and self-supportive mindset.
o
Amygdala-based anxiety (for example
arachnophobia or negative implicit memories) is less approachable for
self-soothing thoughts as the cortex has only a weak influence on the amygdala.
Telling yourself to calm down may therefore be of limited value. Once a
full-blown amygdala stress response is initiated, the most effective ways of managing the resulting fear are deep
breathing, muscle relaxation and/or vigorous physical exercise.
o
For the long-term
management of amygdala-based fears, it is necessary to re-experience the trigger (object or situation) without a negative
experience or emotion in order for the brain to form new (neutral or
positive) associations. For example, therapy for arachnophobia may include a
carefully staged, step-by-step exposure to spiders. It is also possible to strengthen the normally weak influence of
the cortex over the amygdala (fear modulation) by certain exercises, see
also below under mindfulness.
o
For more information see also the previous posts Why Things Often Seem So Bad And What To Do About It and Dealing With The Darker Days- Emergency Measures And Emotional
Intelligence.
- Practice self-acceptance: According to Brené Brown, a social scientist who has researched this topic extensively, courage is associated with vulnerability. More precisely, if we dare to be vulnerable, if we accept ourselves as we are, and if we allow others to see who we are then we can arrive at a new sense of courage.5 From this follows, that our courage may be increased by cultivating self-acceptance and self-compassion.
- Be mindful: Mindfulness practices and meditations have been shown to improve emotion regulation including fear modulation.7,9 This means that we can strengthen the otherwise weak influence of the cortex onto the amygdala, which can help to control our fear response. Furthermore, mindfulness can be defined as the willingness to see and experience things as they are moment by moment. By training ourselves to be mindful we therefore increase our potential for courage. There is also a specific type of meditation, which can increase our capacity for acceptance and self-acceptance called loving-kindness meditation. Additionally, there are also special meditations on courage.
- Increase your confidence by self-efficacy: Believing in your ability to cope with stressful situations and a having a sense of control are important when you are fearful. Self-efficacy can be increased with achieving success (mastery experience), physical activity, observing other people (social modeling, see also below under cultivating courage in everyday life), and by being supported and convinced by other people that we are able to do something (verbal persuasion).10
- Cultivating courage in everyday life: In order to cultivate courage we may be able to learn from our own day-to-day experiences, or have role models or personal heroes who embody courage and who we can learn from.7 We can then make a conscious effort to remember all the little occasions when we have shown brave behaviour and slowly build up our courage. As mentioned in the previous post about personal heroes, we can also imagine ourselves in situations, which require courage and in this way prepare our brains for situations in which courage is needed.
Further information on the web:
- Just in case that you have not seen it yet, you may want to have a look at one of the most popular TED talks of all times, where Brené Brown explains the association between vulnerability and courage: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
- The great Mindful Awareness Research Centre of the University of California offers free mindfulness meditations, including a meditation on courage: http://marc.ucla.edu/mpeg/Hammer031215.mp3
Truly amazing people- What
can we learn from…:
Because courage
comes in so many different forms I have included several people in this week’s
post as representatives of the different categories:
Jan Karski was a young Polish reserve army officer and
junior diplomat with a promising future when World War II changed his life in
an unexpected direction. After narrowly escaping death at the Katyn Forest by
Soviet troops Jan Karski became a courier for the Polish underground
resistance. He survived torture and a suicide attempt in German captivity from which he managed to recover. After his escape, he took up missions to the Warsaw
Jewish Ghetto and the Izbica concentration camp at great risk to his own life. Following these assignments he presented his eye witness accounts to the Western Allies, urging them to
intervene in the Holocaust but tragically his appeals had only little effect. Jan Karski stands for all the truly outstanding
people who embody active courage and integrity, overcoming their greatest fears and putting their own lives at risk for
a greater cause. You can find out more about his remarkable life at http://www.jankarski.net/en.
Rosa Parks was an American civil rights
activist who is best known for her courageous choice of inaction. When
travelling on a bus in 1955, she was asked to give up her seat in the
‘coloured’ section for a white person, as all seats in the ‘white’ section on
the bus were already taken. When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat she was
arrested. This in turn led to a boycott of the bus line, which took over a year
and during which Martin Luther King Jr became known as a national figure and
spokesman for the civil rights movement. To find out more about the life of
Rosa Parks go to http://www.rosaparks.org/biography/.
Boxers like Frank Bruno are usually associated with
the action-type of courage needed to face physical challenge and competition.
However, the probably biggest challenge he had to face was when he was
sectioned under the mental health act due to bipolar disease. Following this, Frank
Bruno showed great courage by facing his vulnerabilities and speaking openly
about his mental health. He created the Frank Bruno Foundation, a charity
offering non-contact boxing training for children, young people and adults
affected by mental health issues. More information go to www.thefrankbrunofoundation.co.uk
and www.theguardian.com/FrankBruno.
And finally,
the lead singer of the heavy metal band Metallica James Hetfield, shows how the behaviour of every one of us may be somehow
affected and influenced by fears. In James Hetfield’s case it is the fear of
responsibility. In this short video he talks about his fear, about learning to
overcome it and how being a role model means showing vulnerability: http://metallife.com/metallicas-james-hetfield-on-overcoming-fear-being-a-role-model/.
Preview: As described above we need courage for many
different situations in our lives, but there are times when we particularly
need this quality. One of them is when we are dealing with severe or chronic
illness and/or if we are facing our own mortality or the
death of somebody we love. This difficult topic is going to be the focus of next
week’s post.
References and further reading:
1. Brown B. Courage is a heart word. 2011. Retrieved
from: http://brenebrown.com/2011/08/09/201188courage-is-a-heart-word-html/
2. Milton M. From Hogwarts to the boxing ring:
courage, creativity and psychological well-being. Counselling Psychology
Review. 2012;27(3):101-112.
3. Norton PJ, Weiss BJ. The role of courage on
behavioural approach in fear-eliciting situations: A proof-of-concept pilot
study. Journal of Anxiety Disorders. 2009;23(2):212-217.
4. Pittman CM, Karle EM: Rewire Your Anxious Brain:
How to use the neuroscience of fear to end anxiety, panic & worry. New
Harbinger Publications; Oakland. 2015.
5. Brown B. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be
Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Penguin Books
Ltd; London. 2012.
6. Nettle D. Personality: What makes you the way you
are. Oxford University Press; New York. 2007.
7.
Graham L. Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and
Well-Being. New World Library; Novato. 2013.
8.
Hanson R: Hardwiring Happiness: How to reshape your brain and your life. Rider
Ebury Publishing, Random House, UK. 2013.
9. Siegel
D. Mindsight: Transform Your Brain with the New Science of Kindness. Oneworld
Publications; Oxford, UK. 2011.
10. Wiens
KJ. Leading Through
Burnout: The Influence Of Emotional Intelligence On The Ability Of Executive
Level Physician Leaders To Cope With Occupational Stress And Burnout
[Dissertation]. University of Pennsylvania. 2016.
If you found this information
helpful, please consider supporting the campaign under Just Giving. Of course it is also great if you choose to support
another charity or do a practical good deed, but it would be nice if you could
let me know that you have done this because you felt inspired by this campaign.
Please also feel free to share this post and let me know if you have any constructive
feedback- good or bad!
Follow the Blog- http://followthegoodlifecampaign.blogspot.co.uk
Donations are in aid of the International Rescue Committee and the World Veterinary Service
No comments:
Post a Comment